Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Numb
There's a numbness that comes with something so tragic. An invisible shield that seems to blanket your mind, your heart. You hear things, you see things.... You watch the clouds move across the sky, the sun rise, the sun set, the trees sway with the breeze, birds chirp in the distance, cars drive by, people come, people go... and all the while you wonder..."How can all of this keep moving when MY world has come crashing down?" You hear people talk, you see them touch you, they help you stand up... but you don't FEEL any of it. You plan a service, but you weren't ready. HELL... you just got married and you thought you'd be celebrating your second anniversary in 2 days. The writing started then...a story, the story of us. The pain started then... and so did the healing.
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Tytus and I say a special prayer for you every night at bedtime... There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you, your family, sweet Charlee, or just wonder how in the world you are doing all you do! As a professional, I look up to your wisdom. As a wife, I look up to your passion. As a friend, I look up to your strength. And as a mother, I look up to your ability to love through all your loss. And while you may not know all these things, you truly are an inspiration to me. I don't pretend to know or even understand your pain, but please know you are often in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteThank you for all of your prayers. I have been enjoying the "Life of Tytus" through your posts. Thankful that you got that dream... maybe not the way you dreamed it when you first said to yourself... I want a baby. But that is one of the luckiest boys I know!!!
DeleteWhile I truly do not know what you are going through, I can empathize with wondering how the world can keep going when your world has crashed. When I was 11 I lost my father. I was a daddy's girl. The day I lost him, my cousins dragged me to the mall, thinking it would be helpful to get me out of the house. As I was walking around, I didn't understand how people were going on with their lives like normal. Didn't they understand that nothing was ever going to be the same?
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong!