The anniversary

I never seem to be at a loss for words.... but tonight I am.  Almost exactly one year ago, my life changed forever.  My heart broke, my world came crashing down and there I stood with a baby in my arms wondering what tomorrow would hold, how would I survive.  So I started out simply... One step at a time, one breath at a time, one day at a time.  Now, it has been a year.  I'm done with the firsts... the first summer, Charlee's first birthday, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, your "first" birthday, my "first" birthday... and the list goes on.  The funny thing is... It isn't the big landmarks that are the hardest.  The hardest part of all of this are the things that catch you off guard.  You see, its the little things.  It's the couple holding hands, the motorcycle that pulls up beside you on a beautiful day, the man with his baby girl, a simple song, a simple smell, a man helping his elderly wife out of the car.  It is these simple moments that bring the most tears.  I know there are many more tears to come...that while my heart is healing, it aches everyday.  I love you my dear, my sweet, strong and amazing husband.  I will always love you and hold you close to my heart. While my heart is broken, I know it will heal... and in that scar, you will forever live.